New Time Zone Designation: HUP

Michelle's IV Port

I finally got to sleep around 1:00 a.m. on Tuesday night / Wednesday morning.  I turned on iTunes, pulled up the library and popped in my earbuds.  I pushed them in as deep as they would go, probably not the best advice for your auditory future, but desperation overcame me.

The constant beep, beep, cough from the monitoring equipment and other patients is enough to drive you crazy – with or without medically induced raging hormones.  My nurse likened my current steroid treatment by saying, “It’s like being on your period multiplied by a hundred times.”  Oh goodie.

And as if that isn’t enough to make any woman say, wow, this is some crazy stuff, and make any man realize it’s in his best interest to steer clear for a few days, add to the 100-times PMS to the obvious confusion over our time zone designation.  Maybe I’m the one confused.  But the hospital should really inform you, upon walking through the metal detectors, the sliding glass ER doors and over the threshold into the wing of the patient holding rooms, that we have just stepped into the HUP Timezone.

Forget Eastern Standard Time.  Not only was waking up to the nurses’ hourly checks on my roommate in my semi-private room disruptive to my futile attempts at getting sleep, the 4:40 a.m. visit from my nurse racked up more tick-tock on my sleep debt.  I mean, I’m glad she came in to give me a single anti-biotic pill and whisper, “You have a urinary tract infection and low grade fever.  This will help.”  Oh, thank God!  Because that UTI just couldn’t wait until 7:00 a.m.  And five minutes later, the lady from the labs came in for blood.  ”Let’s not use your port.  Let’s make a new injection.”  That actually doesn’t bother me any more.  I am so used to needles, it is hard to believe I am the same girl who once thrust a nurse’s hand off my rear-end after the needle was already in.  I was young, but I remember the doctor’s visit and how angry the nurse was that I struck her.

After swallowing the UTI meds and giving up a few more vials of my blood, I put my earbuds back on and turned out the light.  But it was too late.  I was wide awake and the beeping grew louder “next door”.  So, I sit here, and do my favorite things in life: write, listen to music and read.

Now let’s get rid of this headache today.